The “new” Dominos Pizza..

Today was one of those days.  I haven’t been feeling well at all.  Migraine headache that I suspect is brought on by lack of food, which is, in turn brought on by the fact that I was generally not hungry.  Alas, I fell prey to Domino’s new marketing blitz about how they’ve “re-invented themselves” with a completely new recipe.  Having been a former expert on delivery pizza, I was intrigued enough to order their “2 2-topping pizzas for $5.99 each” specials.

So how did it fare?

Not so very long ago, when I was 327 pounds, I was — to say the least — a huge fan of pizza.  If not local, then certainly delivery pizza.  Domino’s was third on my quick dial, and was eaten probably once a week when I didn’t feel like bothering to get dressed and go out for Big Ed’s.

On the list of delivery or take out pizza, it was third:

1. Papa John’s
2. Little Caesar’s
3. Domino’s

In short, the “original” Dominos pizza was always bland.  It was doughy, and it tasted vaguely of cardboard.  Indeed, the only thing Domino’s pizza had going for it was that it was usually fast, most of the time hot, and usually — with the right coupons — it was cheap.

The delivery process

I *hate* having to try to explain my order over the phone.  It isn’t that people aren’t nice.  It’s just that I’m anti-social that way and find it much easier to click a mouse and have stuff delivered without any chance of “human mis-communication”.  Alas, Domino’s online ordering system was down today, as it often seems to be.  Today’s order, of which I’ve eaten two pieces (and will probably waste the rest), was indeed fast, taking about 17 minutes from order to door.  It was literally piping hot, because of the delivery time, which was great as well.

As for taste…

The two pizzas I ordered were fairly standard.  One sausage and pepperoni.  One ham and bacon.  The toppings and cheese were better than what I remember and definitely had more taste and spices.  I’m not saying that’s a great thing, but it is definitely an improvement.  The sauce itself actually has flavor now, but there’s simply not enough of it to cover the crust in my opinion.

On the failed side of the coin is the fact that it the crust still tastes of cardboard, and it’s still very, very doughy.  It’s a buttery flavored cardboard, but the taste remains.

Why?  In Dominos defense, I honestly think it’s a matter of the packaging rather than the product.  The new “buttery” crust is supposed to isolate the packaging from the pizza, but with the piping hot pizza shoved in the cardboard box, my belief is that the steam/heat from the pizza causes a reaction which in turn, absorbs the cardboard into the crust.  Maybe — if you’re listening Dominos — you can try using a piece of wax paper or something to isolate crust from cardboard.

On the subject of price..

What lead me to bite off on the deal like the sucker that I am, was the published price of 2 pizzas for $5.99 each, or presumably $11.98.  When read the total however, I was greeted with $15.10, which is $11.98 PLUS a “$2.00 delivery fee” (which I am not at all sure goes to the driver) *plus* tax on that $13.98.  So, by the time 2 pizzas hit your door, you can expect to be out about $17.10 including tip to make yourself feel like less of a bastard for jipping the driver.

$17.10 divided by 2 is $8.55.  A full $3 more per pizza than the best home baked frozen pizza from the store, which — again, IMHO — is a hell of a lot better pizza than Dominos.

“Cheap” definitely no longer applies.

In the end…

So.  My considered recommendation as a fat bastard with a pizza craving is….  “Don’t bite”.  While the “new improved” Dominos Pizza is at least a baby step in the right direction, save your money and buy yourself a Digiorno’s, Red Baron, or even a Tombstone.

Or… if you want something even better, try a REAL local pie shop like Big Ed’s Pizza in Huntsville, or the best in your own area.  You’ll be MUCH happier for it.

Wayne Hunt
segwayne.com