It had sprinkled a bit here and there off and on all day, but no big deal. Already having standing plans to go to my dad’s, he says “take your time, don’t get in a hurry“.. By about 2pm, looked like it had cleared off and everything was beautiful again..

Decided to jet over to Dad’s in Guntersville which is about 45 miles southeast of Huntsville. No problem. Like I said, clear skies..

YEAH, RIGHT….

About 15 miles into my ride, I began to notice the skies getting all murky again. Not a good thing, and yeah, at this time, a sane person would have just turned around and gone home, but looking back, the weather behind me had turned just as bad, so I figured “hell, I’m half way here, let me just thread the needle and I’ll be there, just in time to avoid anything bad..

Exactly 3 minutes later, with no anticipatory sprinkles, the bottom fell out and all hell broke loose. So here I am, dressed in my ATGATT best, boots, gloves, mesh riding jacket, and my Scorpion half helmet and I find myself literally unable to see through the windshield, the visor on the helmet, AND/OR my glasses. 65… 55… emergency flashers on, looking desperately for a place to park… 45… 40… 35… 30… No where in sight to hide.

Open road as far as I could see — which at this time, consisted of about 100 feet in any given direction while squinting really hard. Didn’t want to pull off on the shoulder, even with the flashers because of fear of getting run over in damned near zero vis.. 25… 20…

Fine, screw it, I remembered, then made a dash for a public boat ramp area with a lot of trees, hoping to ride it out. Sat there, trees of no use whatsoever, but I’m already screwed and the weather is only getting worse. Wind is literally too high now to ride in, even on a bright sunny day, so there I am, water drenched, miserable, and strangely laughing about the loud claps of thunder around me.

{bleep} the bike, I side-stand it and make a run for some unfinished condos. People who’re there in the finished condos and obviously home won’t even answer the door, so fine, I just stand there for about 15 minutes, getting more wet and miserable with each passing moment.

The very moment it appears to let up for 20 seconds, even the slightest, I figured, if I’m going to die, I’m going to die on the road, so I’m back on the road at 30mph, flashers flashing, my boots literally filled to bloating, unable to soak up any more water, nowhere else to go..

10 more miles up the road, I guess I caught up with the storm, because I was “back in the soup” again, and unable to see. This time however, I ran across a gas station which — thankfully — had abundant overhang on their “carport”, so I hang there for another 20 minutes.

Storm appears to be letting up again, so I get some of those towels which always seem to be present at gas stations, wipe off my visor and glasses, and off I go again. Southward bound.. 30mph… Fighting wind the farther I get, but the rain isn’t that bad any more.

Then comes the fun part… I finally — after about 2 hours into my 45 minute ride — get to the Lake Guntersville Bridge — about a half mile long, arched, two-lane bridge spanning Guntersville’s pride and joy of a lake.

As soon as I clear the cover of the tree-lined highway, you might have thought I had driven into a wind tunnel. 20mph, flashers flashing, windshield flexing, rain drops hitting my face like little razor blades going 90mph, and my fat ass hydroplaning across the bridge on a 900 pound motorcycle. White knuckling and psychically willing the bike to stay true and “rubber-side-down”… No where else to go remember?

Five miles later, I pull into dad’s house to find him laughing hysterically as I pull the bike into the garage, a steady stream of water seeping out of my $200 Joe Rocket Jacket, wringing water out of my gloves, and literally pouring about 2 quarts of water out of my boots. One dead garage remote, one dead Garmin GPS.

Four and a half minutes later, it stopped raining and the sun came out. I {bleep} you not…

These are the moments that when life flashes by, I hope to remember for three reasons.

1) To remember how alive I felt
2) To remember my love of riding
3) To remember what a total dumbass I really am sometimes.

.. and oh yeah,

4) remember when Grandma always told you to listen to your parents for once in your life…? This would have been one of those moments.

Stay safe, stay dry, and have fun.