7 quick and easy steps to repairing bullet holes in your ceiling.
We’ve all had them. Whether we’re talking about an apartment situation, or even an overnight stay in a hotel with multiple floors.
I’m speaking of course of those annoying neighbors (aka hobgoblins) living upstairs who obviously feel the need to re-arrange furniture all night — judging by the loud bumps and bangs coming through your bedroom ceiling while you so desperately need to get to sleep.
Go ahead. Admit it. You know you want to. Even the most gun-control-centric human being would humorously have thoughts of stretching out on the bed, faithful 9mm pistol in hand, striving to see just how many shots it would take to kill the rhinoceros roaming above your head at 3am.
Luckily for civilized society, the noise factor of a pistol and the difficulty in se
curing a good-quality silencer — like everyone in the movies seems to have on hand — keeps most of you wimpy bastards at bay.
For those lucky ones who do have a silencer or just don’t give a damn about the noise, I could only suggest that you make a few pre-emptive purchases for the fateful night;
- sandpaper to smooth out the area around the hole(s)
- some spackle (aka sheetrock mud) to cover the hole
- putty knives to apply it with
- some *WHITE* toothpaste as a temporary fix in case the cops come running in (if you have a “popcorn ceiling” from the 70′s)
- paint to match
- brushes which can be quickly disposed of.
- a disposable drop cloth
- a disposable dust buster vacuum
(You might also consider a replacement light fixture in case your fury knows no bounds)
Now, to get down to it…
- Once the sound has abated from the upstairs smegheads, quickly spread out the dropcloth over the affected area. Sand around the bullet holes, hoping no blood is seeping through. If there’s blood, just stuff a small Wal-Mart bag through the hole to catch it.
- Once the area is sanded and smooth, start filling the hole with spackle using the putty knife.
- Let the spackle dry for a few minutes (it will shrink), finish out until even with the surrounding area.
- Let dry for 30 minutes, then sand.
- Apply toothpaste in “dollops” using the tube itself and light pressure. Remember, it’s not supposed to be perfect, just enough to blend in and cover when the cops come rushing in.
- After the toothpaste dries, you can paint to match if needed.
- Throw everything away in a dumpster on the other side of town, wiping off fingerprints of course.
By this point, if you’ve done your frickin job well, you’ll have a restored ceiling able to pass cursory inspection by the cops, and a better night’s sleep once they’re gone.
Good luck and happy hunting…
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WordPress for Newbies #2: Focus
“WordPress for Newbie Bloggers” is a series of short, direct-to-pen lessons written by a newbie himself as he goes along the process of learning how to write a blog and get noticed. Lesson 2 of this series is all about focusing on a subject and sticking with it in order to seem at least coherent in what you’re covering. If you’ve ever found yourself wandering far off key, this article is for you.
Lesson 2: Stay on Target
If you’re like me and you tend to ramble, before you click submit on a new masterpiece of literary expulsion, ask yourself three important questions;
“Why exactly am I posting this?”
All too often, as a rambling writer, I find myself starting a post with the intent to write a movie review, then quickly arcing off into things like popcorn prices, ticket prices, and other things that aren’t really related to the movie review itself. Why is this important? Well.. Hmmm. Simply stated, while everyone loves a car wreck, if you can’t even follow your own train of thought, how do you expect others to follow along with you?
“Who am I talking to?”
Second only to “Why am I posting this?” is a great question which deals with something a great number of blog writers tend to forget. Their target audience. Who exactly are you writing the blog post for? Yourself? Economics academics? Fans of the TV series “Dexter”? It’s only by knowing who you want to reach that you’ll discover the style of writing which allows you to best reach — and better yet keep — your readers.
After all, fans of Science Fiction writer Isaac Asimov and fans of comedian Lewis Black may both be intelligent crowds, but they seldom have much in common.
“Is this something that I would want to read?”
The most important question of this lesson is perhaps the most simple. Unfortunately, it’s often the most overlooked. When you get done writing whatever masterpiece that happens to be leaking from your grey matter, take a moment to glance over it and ask yourself… Is what you’ve written something YOU would actually want to read? If not, you’ve got work to do before posting. If you can’t even figure out what you are talking about, no one else can either.
As a blog writer, it’s relatively easy to get someone to randomly click on your article. The first 34 seconds of that reader’s experience will determine whether or not you’ve created a fan of your writing.
Here’s what works for me
- When putting the proverbial pen to paper with your thoughts, try to keep the subject in mind.
- The “draft” feature is your friend.
- Write whatever you’ve got in your heart to say, THEN go get some coffee, drag a cigarette, or whatever you need to do to chill out.
- Come back to the screen and read your article from scratch, pretending to be your potential reader.
- Ask yourself whether this is something someone might want to read, or whether you’re just venting your own rambling thoughts
- Take out, change, or shorten anything that doesn’t need to be there until you’re absolutely sure that what you’re saying is being said in the absolute best way possible to keep people interested.
There are people out there who may disagree with my theories, but all great authors go through drafts. That’s why God (and the publishing industry) invented Editors.
Wayne Hunt
segwayne.com
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100,000 Apps! 2 Billion downloads! Keep em coming…
I know I’m a bit late in relaying the good news, but Apple’s App store which carries games, applications, and other software tools for the iPhone and iPod Touch has now reached 100,000 apps and 2 billion downloads. That’s 2 Billion, yes. With a B! That’s a lot of software to review. Congrats and keep em coming guys!
Visit the App Store for a look around

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Keeping up with your DVDs

As a lot of you who might know me already know, Melissa and I watch a lot of movies. We’ve also amassed one hell of a large collection (IMHO) of around 600 DVD’s and VHS movies over the last 10 years. Since we’re not by any means rich, most of these were gifts, Video store closeouts, and the not-so-random e-bay purchase.
One problem we’ve always had is keeping up with what we own, and on occassion we actually purchased a duplicate movie or two. Another problem we’ve always had is family and friends who sometimes feel as though it’s “Wayne and Lissa Video”, then trod through picking out the occassional movie for their use, only to never be seen again.
So, I’ve been looking for a good piece of freeware to try out for the express purpose of cataloging all of it. Enter DVD Profiler (dvdprofiler.com). With both a free and low-cost ($25) premium version, DVD Profiler lets you enter your movies into your collection, even keeping up with where/when you got it, and how much you paid. There are even neat features like “Wish lists” and Price Finders,
Two killer features:
1) a “loaned movie” feature to track when you loaned a movie, to whom, when you expect it back, and a “e-mail this person a reminder”
2) the ability to store and display your collection online, as I have begun to do here. Keep in mind though that I’ve had the program installed about 30 minutes and only have 5 movies entered (all the work it took me was simply entering the title) right now.
One thing I wish was that it also worked for older VHS, as that’s probably 500 of our current 600+ movie collection.
I don’t know what the difference is between the free and premium programs, but would be more than happy to pay for the addition of VHS keeper information. Anyway, check it out!
Wayne Hunt
segwayne.com
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“WordPress for Newbie Bloggers” is a series of short, direct-to-pen lessons written by a newbie himself as he goes along the process of learning how to write a blog and get noticed. Lesson 2 of this series is all about focusing on a subject and sticking with it in order to seem at least coherent in what you’re covering. If you’ve ever found yourself wandering far off key, this article is for you.![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=acac2f00-53f3-4fa7-a844-a0c7d0956778)
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