Thank you Miss California…

Posted on 21 April, 2009 by Wayne

Miss California, Carrie Prejean answers honestly, with villain Perez holding the microphone

I was sitting here paging through the news on the BBC RSS feed this morning as I’m prone to do, when I read about the politically correct “uproar” at the Miss USA Pageant.

BBC News here

Personally, the subject of gay marriage doesn’t bother me one way, or another. I really don’t care what other people do, but I’m incredibly impressed with the answer given by Carrie Prejean (Miss California) in front of a liberal audience

Quote:

—

“I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody there. But that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be,”

—

To this, the raging nutbag idiot Perez Hilton, stirred the proverbial pot by blogging about how Carrie is a “dumb B***H”, while Keith Lewis, co-director the Miss California competition, which Prejean won to make it into the Miss USA pageant ran out to grab his 15 minutes to express how “saddened” he was at her “offensive answer”.

This is just insane to me. Carrie Prejean was verbally ambushed by the ever-offensive Hilton with a question that could not be answered without offending SOMEONE out there. His intent, regardless of the outcome, was to stir the pot and gain publicity for himself.

Had she answered in favor of gay marriage, she would have both angered the majority of Americans (losing the pageant), but most of all, she would have betrayed her own conscience.

To that end, I would submit that Perez Hilton is the villain here, while I applaud Carrie for her willingness to stand up against the liberal political correctness and have conviction in her own beliefs.

I guess, in all that I just feel the need to say “Kudos and well done Carrie“. While I may, or may not agree with what you said, I thank you for reminding us that there are people still out there who are unafraid of saying what they mean, regardless of the consequences..

Strangely, I have the feeling she’ll be quickly snapped up and employed somewhere in the journalism field, and I really wish her all the best.

Motorcycling in a sleet storm

Posted on 2 December, 2008 by Wayne

With all the recent travel going on (and more to come) and the weather pitching in to help, I haven’t had a chance to ride much in the last month or so.

Yesterday, checking the weather channel and my iPhone apps about 7:30 am, all seemed to agree that it was 36 degrees, and the rain was clearing off by the 48 degree afternoon. To that end, and having ridden in colder climates (work is only 6 miles), I bundled up in my US Military thermals and headed off to work…

Little did I know how much the Weather Channel sucks…

Got to work, all is toasty, even at 36 degrees. Parked the bike, and resumed my day. Three hours later, lunch time, I head out for a bite, only to realize that North Alabama was in the midst of what we would consider a major sleet storm and that the predicted 48 degrees was NEVER going to happen.

To that end, I don my gear and head — carefully — back to the house. Windshield down, visor up, being pelted in the face with sleet every inch of the way. Hands frozen, legs soaking wet, and I’m sure there’s a cold or flu bug in there somewhere.

That being said, the resulting adrenaline rush from that 6 mile ride was actually really, really cool. Not something I’d want to reproduce every day, but exciting. This morning of course, as temps had dipped overnight, I drove the truck into work, sliding on ice at pretty much every intersection. Not nearly as much fun as riding.

No podcast this week. — blogging from the beach.

Posted on 14 September, 2008 by Wayne

Two days after Ike decimated the Houston area — where I have friends — I find myself pulled from my humble office space in Huntsville to a trade show in Orange Beach, Alabama. Arriving about 5:30pm or so, I find myself sitting here at 7pm on the beach, kicked back on one of those uncomfortable wooden loungers and simultaneously finding myself both at total peace, and in total awe of the world around me.

Along the darkened beach, I hear nothing but the surf, and before me mere shadows of waves crashing into the sea wall. To the left at about 45 degrees, I see a full moon, partially obscured by clowds, shining a bright beacon of light onto the surface below, making the waves glisten in the moonlight.

The clouds part and suddenly the entire left side of my peripheral — if I weren’t already looking that way — is gleaming with the same full moon and rising tide. I know I write differently than I speak, but words simply cannot describe the majesty before me. Given a blanket and pillow, I’d never return to the cold architecture of the hotel. It’s at this inopportune time that my iPhone brings me back with a “ding” (you’ve got mail) chimes.

In short, this is one of those perspective-changing events that makes me realize just how insignificant any of us really are. I’m not prepared to sign my life over to Jehovah’s Witnesses or anything, nor am I finding God as it were, or even signing up for Greenpeace, but if the universe is as random as imperialists would have us believe, then we — as a human race — hit the jackpot where our little blue heaven is concerned.

Now my biggest worry is that I see how badly we’re screwing it up. Pollution? yeah, whatever, but wars, nuclear proliferation, stupidity on a massive scale. We as the human race are too immature as of yet to explore the universe. As long as we can’t even put ourselves above what we believe “God” is and stop fighting long enough to figure this shit out, it all seems all for naught which is truly a bleeping shame, all things considered.

Lessons Learned, Riding in the Rain

Posted on 28 June, 2008 by Wayne

It had sprinkled a bit here and there off and on all day, but no big deal. Already having standing plans to go to my dad’s, he says “take your time, don’t get in a hurry“.. By about 2pm, looked like it had cleared off and everything was beautiful again..

Decided to jet over to Dad’s in Guntersville which is about 45 miles southeast of Huntsville. No problem. Like I said, clear skies..

YEAH, RIGHT….

About 15 miles into my ride, I began to notice the skies getting all murky again. Not a good thing, and yeah, at this time, a sane person would have just turned around and gone home, but looking back, the weather behind me had turned just as bad, so I figured “hell, I’m half way here, let me just thread the needle and I’ll be there, just in time to avoid anything bad..

Exactly 3 minutes later, with no anticipatory sprinkles, the bottom fell out and all hell broke loose. So here I am, dressed in my ATGATT best, boots, gloves, mesh riding jacket, and my Scorpion half helmet and I find myself literally unable to see through the windshield, the visor on the helmet, AND/OR my glasses. 65… 55… emergency flashers on, looking desperately for a place to park… 45… 40… 35… 30… No where in sight to hide.

Open road as far as I could see — which at this time, consisted of about 100 feet in any given direction while squinting really hard. Didn’t want to pull off on the shoulder, even with the flashers because of fear of getting run over in damned near zero vis.. 25… 20…

Fine, screw it, I remembered, then made a dash for a public boat ramp area with a lot of trees, hoping to ride it out. Sat there, trees of no use whatsoever, but I’m already screwed and the weather is only getting worse. Wind is literally too high now to ride in, even on a bright sunny day, so there I am, water drenched, miserable, and strangely laughing about the loud claps of thunder around me.

{bleep} the bike, I side-stand it and make a run for some unfinished condos. People who’re there in the finished condos and obviously home won’t even answer the door, so fine, I just stand there for about 15 minutes, getting more wet and miserable with each passing moment.

The very moment it appears to let up for 20 seconds, even the slightest, I figured, if I’m going to die, I’m going to die on the road, so I’m back on the road at 30mph, flashers flashing, my boots literally filled to bloating, unable to soak up any more water, nowhere else to go..

10 more miles up the road, I guess I caught up with the storm, because I was “back in the soup” again, and unable to see. This time however, I ran across a gas station which — thankfully — had abundant overhang on their “carport”, so I hang there for another 20 minutes.

Storm appears to be letting up again, so I get some of those towels which always seem to be present at gas stations, wipe off my visor and glasses, and off I go again. Southward bound.. 30mph… Fighting wind the farther I get, but the rain isn’t that bad any more.

Then comes the fun part… I finally — after about 2 hours into my 45 minute ride — get to the Lake Guntersville Bridge — about a half mile long, arched, two-lane bridge spanning Guntersville’s pride and joy of a lake.

As soon as I clear the cover of the tree-lined highway, you might have thought I had driven into a wind tunnel. 20mph, flashers flashing, windshield flexing, rain drops hitting my face like little razor blades going 90mph, and my fat ass hydroplaning across the bridge on a 900 pound motorcycle. White knuckling and psychically willing the bike to stay true and “rubber-side-down”… No where else to go remember?

Five miles later, I pull into dad’s house to find him laughing hysterically as I pull the bike into the garage, a steady stream of water seeping out of my $200 Joe Rocket Jacket, wringing water out of my gloves, and literally pouring about 2 quarts of water out of my boots. One dead garage remote, one dead Garmin GPS.

Four and a half minutes later, it stopped raining and the sun came out. I {bleep} you not…

These are the moments that when life flashes by, I hope to remember for three reasons.

1) To remember how alive I felt
2) To remember my love of riding
3) To remember what a total dumbass I really am sometimes.

.. and oh yeah,

4) remember when Grandma always told you to listen to your parents for once in your life…? This would have been one of those moments.

Stay safe, stay dry, and have fun.

ATV riding lessons, or more appropriately "3 minutes" of my Sunday that I’d like back.

Posted on 12 December, 2005 by Wayne

Yesterday, I was inadvertently given the opportunity to prove that axiom with interesting results. I visited my Dad’s farm, as I’m prone to do on the weekends (very relaxing) with the intention of riding around on his large Honda ATV snapping photos with the new Nikon. About 35 minutes into it, I was going across a shallow spot in a ditch when the ATV starts to tip right, into a hole I had not previously seen.

Out of instinct, I planted my right foot, and within what seemed to be the longest 3 minutes of my life (1/2 second in real time), I found myself trapped under the wheel, yanked off, forceably thrown asunder ass over teakettle style, and lying flat on my back in the ditch. Luckily — I should say amazingly — the Nikon was unharmed, though I never did find the lens cap, which is TWICE the UV filter has saved my butt…

But wait… there’s more…

As soon as I realized I had been trampled and was lying in the ditch, I hear the throttle of the ATV open wide up. As I glance upwards and to my right, I get this funny as hell view of the ATV heading straight up the side of the hill and towards the woods… So here I am, all alone, lying in a ditch, watching my ride run away like some wild horse, throwing my dad’s tools in every single direction on it’s ascension..

…. And I didn’t care.

First things first… “Inventory”. Still got two arms? check, two legs? check. Can you move them? Well THAT is debatable, so I simply lay back down and sit for a second. In my current “bullet time” (from the old Max Payne game) mode, that felt like another 10 minutes.

Then, amazingly, I hear the throttle of the ATV close, and I look up to see the ATV sitting there, about 100 feet from me. My first thought? Is it rolling back down hill? No? Good…

The cost of this lesson in riding 101?

A wrench which was never found.
A Nikon 52mm lens cap
A bit of pride
Two genuine twisty-style ankles and a lot of bruising…

Portable religion and illiteracy

Posted on 17 August, 2005 by Wayne

Specifically, on my front door is a big, ugly sign which says “no solicitation”. For those of you whose first language is NOT English, that means “don’t ring on my doorbell trying to sell me shit”.

Despite this, about every couple of days at random, my doorbell rings with people asking “want me to mow your grass?”, “want to buy things for my school?”, and about 5 minutes ago, the Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses/Church of Latter-day Saints/whatever asking me whether or not I “know God as my Personal savior”.

I can understand kids and even some people not understanding “solication” as that’s a “quarter word” but why do people feel it’s their obligation to SELL ME God as my own personal savior? Personal is in bold, because that’s a much simpler word that these people don’t understand. As such, I’d love to invite any Mormons here to try and explain to me what having God as “my personal savior” denotes in their mind a desire to have an “enforced by random encounter” discussion with people I’ve never met about my personal relationship to God?

I’m pondering buying some cheap dictionaries and bookmarks to hand out with certain definitions highlighted.

Cable company sold me out for $2.73

Posted on 4 June, 2005 by Wayne

As everyone here knows, I’m a technology geek. I love new and inventive things, as long as they’re done in the right way. I LOVE Tivo because it solves problems, but I hate Linux because it requires me to think to actually get things done. Some might think this is a bad thing, but hey, whatcha gonna do?

Anyway, getting back to the original story, I always thought the commercials about direcTV versus the cable companies were a bunch of hype. Then, it happened to me.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been having intermittent problems with my cable modem going out. I’d call, they’d say “the modem is responding for me” and it’d be a fight to get them out here four days later. In three weeks, they’ve installed three modems and reset my computer, network, and IP in three different ways.

Last Saturday night however was the proverbial straw. I arrived home and went to check my mail, only to find a dead connection. Ten minutes later, I’m on the phone with them only to be told that they could no longer offer me technical support because my services had been disconnected because “according to our computers, you haven’t paid the bill in two months.”

Trouble is, I had, and luckily, I had receipts. A lengthy argument ensued, which ended about 11:30 pm. Even though they admitted culpability in the problem and the fact that it was an error which involved literally $2.73 USD, they demanded a check for $270.00 in penalties and pre-payment for the next month to have my services reconnected before “next friday”. We finally reached a compromise for $160 (the amount minus the $110 payment they had already received but failed to input thanks to the holiday weekend).

Since I had to work last Monday because of the holiday, and since if I don’t work I don’t get paid, I gave up and gave them their money with the promise that “I will be a directTV customer before next Friday”. Their response was simply “ok” but I could have sworn I heard a “whatever” as they hung up the phone..

Promise fulfilled (albeit a day late). Today, direcTV installed the free four-room system and I couldn’t be happier. I upgraded two of the boxes to Tivo units for $100.00 a piece with two $50.00 rebates and a free DVD player.

By this Friday, I will be turning in all my digital cable boxes, having my telephone service through them disconnected, and will have swapped over to a different broadband company, THEREFORE will be getting back my goddamned $260.

I was a bit concerned about things, but they started me off with the “premier package” (all the channels/movie channels/etc) for $45.00 for the first three months. After that, *if* I choose to keep all the channels, it would be $93.00, which is a full $20 less than the local cable company for the same channels (and lower quality).

I’m also going to sell my two Tivo 2 units to make up the other $100 and in effect, this MASSIVE UPGRADE will be free to me, and lower prices to boot.

Here are a couple of killer things.

1) REAL Dolby Digital sound
2) The picture quality is amazing
3) I can now record two programs at the same time on both Tivo units while watching a third. (This was a BIG concern for me some nights like Wednesdays when Smallville, Lost, and something else — that I forgot because I couldn’t watch all three with the old Tivos were all on at 7:00 pm).
4) did I mention that the sound and picture were AMAZING?

Why am I posting this? Because I tend to gospel on new toys that I find incredibly neat. (Just ask my good friends how much I annoy them preaching the virtues of Tivo). I also like to help people who’re on the fence to make the right decision.

Now, that being said, there’s a rumor going around (unsubstantiated by either Tivo or direcTV) that direcTV was dropping Tivo. But.. if so, that won’t happen until the end of their contract in 2007, by which time chances are that either they will have reached a compromise, or something better will come along (like HD Tivos for realistic prices).

In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying damned near perfect picture and sound quality for less money with a damned big “screw you” to the cable company who pushed me away for $2.73.

Alabama Sex-toy ban – still backwards after all these years

Posted on 23 February, 2005 by Wayne

A year or so ago, Judge Roy Moore was essentially thrown off his job because he refused to remove a statue of the 10 commandments from the courthouse.

Today, the US Supreme court refused to hear an appeal to overturn the Alabama State legislature’s ban on sex toys. By way of refusal to even hear the case, the US Supreme court refuse to overturn the ban.

Alabama legislators have gone out of their way to prove once again that Alabama remains the most backward-assed redneck state in the Union. Whereas on one hand the legislators tell us that we cannot mix church and state (even though laws are CLEARLY based on the Bible), now they pretend to have the audacity to tell us what we can and cannot do in the confines of our own bedroom.

segwayne.com

A whinery of substance

Tag Archives: stupidity